Feels like it’s been awhile since my last post! I’ve been busy trying to get this music video I’ve been working on looking as polished as can be. It’s not helped that I’m a fussy sod and have re-shot at least half of it! But, it’s nearly finished and I shall upload soon…
Ok so the footage is cutting well but I need more! Arranged another shoot day early next week to pick up the final few shots. For now here’s a few still images (with a very quick colour grade) taken from the current edit. Note the green window will have footage of the sky/clouds composited in eventually.
I’ve been thinking about doing a little creative writing for awhile, with the ultimate goal of getting some paid work out of it: I’m thinking freelance journalism. To that end here’s my first written piece (for Cinema Jam):
So I’m about 1/2 way through working on a music video. I think I was a little bit too ambitious with this one: it involves airships and virtual reality with a dash of steam-punk. Oh and it’s on a zero budget.
Next time I’ll keep it simple: dude walks down the street… has a nice life… the end. Having said that it’ll probably end up something more like: dude walks down the street…falls into a rip in the fabric of space time…he’s doomed to wander for all eternity in some place between dimensions….the end.
After studying film in New York I came home to England and felt the need to keep some kind of momentum going. I knew if I stopped shooting material I’d not pick up a camera for a long time: prevarication would set in. So I had the idea of doing an art video installation about voyeurism. You would look through a keyhole in an old beat up door and view this video of me touching myself. In the original edit there was footage of worms writhing around in the dirt and intercut with the footage of me. A friend persuaded me to remove that sequence. At the time I trusted his opinion but I’ve since come to regret both my decision to remove the footage and my trust in that particular individual.
Looking back I suppose I can see the video as an analogy of who I was at the time. I was feeling stifled creatively because I was away from the buzz and excitement of New York and the friends I made there. I was also no longer living in London and so I came back to live in the countryside in the middle of nowhere well away from friends and culture. I felt trapped; suffocated even. I worried incessantly about my age and time passing me by; thoughts turned to death:hence the worms. The actual voyeurism part was probably my desire to simply be noticed as an artist.
And yet I never did anything with the video. I kept it stored on a hdd and forgot about it until recently. I was too full of self doubt at the time to push/promote myself. I thought success would miraculously appear on my doorstep. Needless to say success never knocked on my door and I wasted even more precious time. I noticed on the post on Tumblr I said I made Peep Show a few years ago. It was, more precisely, around six years ago. Self doubt and prevarication are the worst enemies you can have in life.
Regarding the beads I had implanted into my naughty bits…I had them done seven years earlier when I was 19. I’d suffered excruciating pains in my lower abdomen for many years at that point and doctors were baffled.There was something amiss with my prostrate which in turn had far reaching effects for the whole area I popped a lot of pills but nothing worked. Eventually I decided to spend more time doing yoga which helped alleviate some of the symptoms. Then I hit on the idea of getting the implants as a kind of symbolic visual cue that I had a new penis/prostrate. I thought that if I invested enough belief into this I could re-imagine my genito-urinary system into one that no longer caused me pain. It actually worked; although I still occasionally get the odd pain when I get run down/depressed. The power of belief is an incredible thing.
Sorry that was a long ass reply!
Me with Mr Nice himself. Met him a couple of years back while briefly living in Spain. He’s a funny guy :)
I’ve been giving people advice for years; whether they wanted it or not. It’s something that annoys me about myself but is difficult to change. I often only realize what I’m doing half way through my lecture and by then it’s too late. I must come off as an arrogant prick. The worst aspect of all this is: I don’t listen to a word of it myself. My life is, in one word: chaos.
I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and my criticisms to myself. Even better would be to use the urge to lecture someone and lecture myself instead. So every time I feel that urge I should just leave that person’s company and go lecture myself in a corner and see how I like it. And I’ll say “Ha! you didn’t like that did you” and I’m sure I really wont.
The Walking Dead is back after a season break. To celebrate, here’s a photo I took a while back as my homage to the comic books/t.v. show.
from my first photo shoot back in 2009.
This was one of my first posts on here: thought I’d re-blog it in the hope that more people saw it this time.
A couple of people very close to me had died in my life around the time I came up with the concept for this shoot. I took that pain and hurt and channeled it into an idea which was essentially that of fantasizing over a lost lover and imagining the feel of their caress through projected shadows.
It was an exploration of the notion that we project our own fantasies onto reality thus giving those very fantasies a kind of form and substance.
I don’t hear that very often, and I’m a bit rubbish at self promotion so sometimes I feel like it’s only me that likes my photography. It’s nice to know someone else does too. Thank you!
Trapped in a dream: awake
The corpse on the bed: breathing.
In this realm: you live.
Waves of emotion
Knock happiness overboard.
It drowns in despair.